Tales of Dementia
by Jimmy the Gothic Egg
Summary: Whatever crawls from my mind. From wind tunnels to strange winds to whatever else I can think of. No pairings. Just insanity.
1. Kazana

Random thoughts in my brains. Don't be surprised if they aren't long.

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_Tales of Dementia

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**Kazāna

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There was really nothing there.

White abyss. A few demons they'd once fought. A cow. Yeah, they saw a cow once. It was kind of cool.

But really, nothing. White abyss.

Inuyasha scoffed.

"That's the last time we stand so close to Miroku when he whips out his wind tunnel."

They were all in agreement on that one.


	2. Wind

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Tales of Dementia

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**Wind

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Every time Sesshomaru stopped for a moment to think, a light wind would brush his person. The zephyr would only last for moments, but it happened far to often.

Now, Sesshomaru-sama was far from the 'emotional' type. Whether he was happy or sad the world may never know, but every now and then, something happened for Sesshomaru to lose his cool.

So finally, when he just wanted one minute to think, he stood there, looking gazing up at the moon, looking as contemplative and impassive as always, the grass brushed with new found wind, and his hair rustled handsomely.

He turned sharply, staring at the thick brush. For a brief instant he looked just like his younger half-brother when he got angry (and that was often.)

"God damn it, Kagura!" he shouted. "Give me a moment of peace."

He quickly went back to his pensive stance, walking away with the superfluous non-flourish he was so well known for.

If anyone had been listening carefully, they might've heard a giggle from the underbrush.


	3. Die

Because I'm not the only one that's thinking it.

Use of my favorite word just once in this. Anyone who knows me by now probably won't mind.

What I so wanna do. And Kagome needs some power that isn't whining people to death.

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_Tales of Dementia

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**Die

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"So… How many times has she died now?" Miroku asked, watching the soul collectors streak past.

"Sixteen," Sango answered, leaning against a tree.

"Guess they'll be at it again," Shippo sighed, watching Inuyasha disappear into the trees. He was after Kagome again. And by Kagome, he meant he'd be idly making sure she was okay after he was absolutely certain Kikyo was alive or not. By their luck, she would be, and already in Kagome's presence.

"How long will it take this time?"

Sango threw two coins into the pile they'd already started forming. "Twenty minutes."

"Two hours." Shippo upped with a spinning top.

---

Kagome rolled her eyes as Kikyo went into her usual speech about whether or not she really cared for Inuyasha. She stared at the branch in her hand, the one that had broken off when she had tried not to fall into the water, but managed to anyway.

"Kikyo," she said, holding it up and stepping towards her. "I don't fucking care."

---

Inuyasha didn't really question things when he found Kagome holding the bat.

"She's dead," she said happily. "I really hope she doesn't come back this time."

Inuyasha really hoped that bat wouldn't be used on him.


	4. Shippo

Goddamn. All the characters in InuYasha just like the sound of their own voice. "Your time is up Naraku," bla bla bla, "I've gotta shoot this arrow," bla bla bla, "Bla bla fucking bla."

InuYasha is so predictable. I'm almost tired of it. All our characters do is angst and whine.

And Naraku is fucking immortal. See! Just shoot the goddamn arrow and kill him! But no! We've got ten fucking minutes of indecision!

Yeah, yeah. Here's your story.

_Tales of Dementia_

**Shippo**

"So… guys?"

The group looked up at the small kitsune, wondering about his nervous disposition.

"What is it Shippo?" Kagome asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, keeping his eyes low. "I kind of… accidentally promised this girl… I would marry her… so…"

They glanced at each other before returning to their work.

"Oh, okay," Kagome said. "I guess you'll have to stay here."

"And I'll have to—wait! What?"

"Well, not _all_ people can break a promise," Sango gave a pointed look at Miroku, who chuckled nervously.

"It looks like your duty is here," he said. "Good luck."

Shippo was dumbstruck. "But don't you like… _need_ me!"

"Not really," Inuyasha said. "It's not like you ever do anything."

"I hate to say it, but Inuyasha's right," Kagome murmured. "Your magic is pretty useless."

"And all you ever do is hide," Sango agreed.

"We'll just have to make due without that," Miroku nodded.

"But…" The young demon looked close to tears. "But…"

"How 'bout this," Kagome interjected his usual fit. "We have a bittersweet goodbye episode—I mean party—and we'll marry you off to this girl. Does that sound fair?"

Shippo sniffled and nodded.

**Notes:**

And _that's_ how you get rid of Shippo. He is useless in the series, and he's got no vendetta against Naraku. He just doesn't want to be on his own. Not that I don't find Shippo absolutely adorable, he's just annoying. Half as annoying as Kagome. And Kagome is pretty damn annoying.


	5. Pregnancy

_Tales of Dementia_

**Pregnancy**

Miroku looked frantic. In Kagome's humbled opinion, that meant he had pissed off Sango. So, she couldn't resist traipsing into the girl's sleeping area to find out exactly what was wrong.

"Sango!" he called, hopping over her weapon. "You know it's just old habits! They say those are hard to break!"

The demon slayer said nothing as she plopped down into her bed and pulled the covers over her, turning her back to him.

"Please, Sango," he murmured sweetly with the voice he tried to be smooth with. Kagome smirked, her presence unnoticed. "It was a moment of weakness. When you are out of sight, I must find some way to drown out my need to have you at my side."

Wrong thing to say, Kagome thought, slinking over to her own bed. And it was, as proven when Sango sat straight up, turned to face him right in the eye, and said very simply:

"Miroku, I'm pregnant."

Then she fell back into bed, leaving both Miroku and Kagome in shock. The monk looked absolutely pale as he stood up and backed away, clearly confused and frightened.

"A-Alright then," he said loudly, eyes not really focused, and he didn't really watch where he was going as he slammed against the wall. "I-I'll just let you sleep."

Kagome puttered over to her friend, poking her sleeping form. Sango sat up, grinning wide.

"Sango, what—"

"Oh, don't worry," she couldn't hold in a peal of laughter, and muffled it with her blanket. "I'm not really pregnant."

"Then why—"

"He hasn't even _kissed_ me yet. I wanted to see how he felt when I go off with other men."

Kagome didn't hide her own grin. "When are you going to tell him?"

"Oh, I don't know." Sango yawned, leaning back into her pillow, closing her eyes. "I think I'll let him sweat it out a while. I'll tell him in the morning."


End file.
